Reading for Nostalgia
Going back to my childhood to love reading again.
I’ve always been an avid reader. I remember asking my parents and grandparents to read to me before I could understand the shapes on the page. And when I could, the reading never stopped. All through primary school, high school, until I started studying books at university. But after years of enjoying reading, the requirement of compulsory reading at university (particularly when I wasn’t enjoying the books) dampened my passion to read in my own time and for myself. Instead it had become a chore.
Now that I’m out of university, I’m trying to rekindle that flame. That need to stay up late into the night to turn the next page, get to the next chapter. And what I’ve found is that by going back to the books I read as a child and teenager, I’m reinvigorating that feeling. While I love a good piece of literary fiction or adult fantasy book, it’s that nostalgia that draws me back to late night reading and catching myself during the day mentally caught still on the last page I read.
Thinking about nostalgia I was curious about the etymology. It comes from two Greek words: ‘nostos’ meaning ‘return’ and ‘algos’ meaning ‘pain’. I then went down the rabbit hole of nostalgia’s journey of meaning. For centuries it was considered to be a negative thing, being associated with melancholy and depression. It wasn’t until the 20th century that we started to use it more positively. Today definitions of nostalgia use words such as ‘sentimental’ or ‘wistful’, and phrases like ‘a feeling of pleasure and also slight sadness’. I think today we can view nostalgia in a positive way, and not just get caught in the melancholy of the past. We can feel fondness towards those sentimental feelings.
For me, I am trying to use my nostalgia to bring those feelings of delight and excitement to the present day. Perhaps this is a bit naive. I cannot perfectly replicate reading that book for the first time, or that pure enjoyment you get as a child that I wish I could bottle and treasure forever. But going back to the books that made me love reading in the first place helps me remember those feelings. The pages between my fingers, the black ink that turns into dragons flying between vowels, spells cast at the end of sentences, and gods manifested within adverbs and adjectives. Only time will tell if my mission is successful.
